Tag Archives: effective communication

Turning Life’s Breakdown’s Into Breakthrough’s

By Paul A Philips

At the queue in a coffee shop the other day I saw a young child have a chocolate bar he had chosen get snatched from his mother who then put back on the shelf. Not able to have the chocolate bar the young boy sobbed bitterly… Typical of children his age he has the philosophy that goes in the way of ‘I want, therefore I must have and when I don’t get it I resent that…’ upset indeed kicks in.

Now compare this to adults. Most adults, when their wants, desires, expectations… in life are not fulfilled they too go into upset. Like the child this means living a life consistent with the Buddhist saying “The source of all suffering is desire…”

For some this upset is only a matter of time since many people have no plans of action; no structure for fulfilment in life as to how they will achieve their goals. Instead their lives are based on relying on the wheel of circumstance, or idle fantasies, romantic notions, expecting something for nothing… which is victimhood waiting to happen?

-All this is in effect the anatomy of upset and the reactions to life’s breakdowns with all those accompanying dramas that many people go into. The breakdowns and related dramas that people go into can be as such that they don’t realize they’re in one.

For example, let’s say, there’s the man that doesn’t make his sales target for the third month in a row. So, in a state of fear/anxiety, wondering if he’ll make the sales target next month and not be sacked as a consequence he stays ’till late at bars having gone into a heavy drinking drama…

Then there is the woman whose breakdowns are related to the fact that she’s unable to keep a steady long-term relationship. So she goes into a promiscuity drama…

Yes indeed, door slammers, cat kickers and cursers could be a number of examples of the many dramas that people go into when their wants, desires, expectations… in life are not fulfilled during a breakdown. The attention seeking ego has more than a hand in the reaction mechanisms…

The solution

The solution is quite simple, but it takes dedication to develop the approach and habits required to make the necessary turnaround for handling life’s breakdowns successfully, turning them into breakthrough’s.

The first thing is, instead of living a life that’s based on focussing on what you don’t have in life, how about celebrating or dwelling on the things you do. Focus on abundance. Thoughts, feelings, emotional attachments, imaginings of abundance can only breed and make manifest abundance! This is the law of attraction and it’s up to you to make it happen.

When people attach themselves to their wants, desires, expectations… they set themselves up to be upset: It goes in the way of ‘life should go the way I expect it to go, so when it doesn’t I resent that…’ Avoid this. Detachment from this attitude is the key. Catch yourself in the related mechanisms and observe yourself; I can’t stress how important this is for your personal effectiveness…

Instead of getting attached to your wants, desires, expectations.., take the attitude that life doesn’t go the way I expect it to go; it just goes the way that IT goes, then you no longer become the effect of your breakdowns (remember, the source of all suffering is desire).

Then, unlike the child, you grow up, no longer taking the ‘I want therefore I should have’ child’s attitude. Once again, I repeat, observe yourself!

Finally, there’s the usual hindsight from your breakdowns. Ask yourself, what did I learn from my breakdowns? What’s missing that’s needed to produce the necessary turnaround..? What’s missing in the commitment, communications and visions of the possibility of..?Above all, never give up.

-These are the basics for turning life’s breakdowns into breakthroughs. I do indeed hope this has helped.

If you liked reading this article then go to http://www.NewParadigm.ws for more related articles, blogs and videos… including a free download PDF entitled ‘The Greater Way and the New Paradigm Experience’. Hosted by Paul A Philips. One again the link is: http://www.newparadigm.ws/

Effective Communication The Power Of Living In The Conversation

By Paul A Philips

If ever you want to know who you really are then take a look at the nature of the conversations you have in life. Whether it’s in the nature of how you talk to others or the chatter in your head, the conversations you have going on reflect who you are and is about as exclusive as your fingerprints!

-So for personal effectiveness it’s worth examining the nature of your conversations reflecting the way you see things, how you interact… and how you can shape them for fulfilment and effective communication.

Life as a conversation in your head

2 men walking down the street: Both men have a conversation in their heads about money. The first man is thinking how he’s going to make ends meet, having real issues / concerns about paying next month’s rent and with insufficient funds he also owes money to the bank as monthly dues… etc.

Then there’s the second man. He’s considering how to invest in stocks and shares having received a sizable windfall. He’s estimating how much spending money he’ll need to go on holiday, not leave him short after buying those stocks and shares…

By their own interpretations the first man is having a terrible day while the other is enjoying life, but both men are doing the same thing, walking down the street! You see, the only difference between the 2 men is the different conversations in their heads.

The point to this is that the conversation in our heads can determine what we get out of life. Will your internal conversation run you or will you run it?

Life as an external conversation how you interact with others

Whether it’s the chatter in your head or how you talk to others the nature of the conversation is determined by a number of factors. The point to get is that they’re all interpretive and choice-based. When interacting with others you can create the conversation.

Will you have a conversation based on negativity; in the morass, helplessness or on victimhood..? Or will you create a conversation for opportunity, resourcefulness, contribution, solving problems or sharing yourself on the joy that life really is..?

-You can see that the nature of the conversations you choose determines how life shows up for you. One thing is for sure the conversation merely based on negativity is not empowering for you!

So it’s well worth doing some introspection, asking yourself who I am as an opportunity, a resource, as someone who can help, contribute, solve problems and share myself on a daily basis…

If you liked reading this article then go to http://www.NewParadigm.ws for more related articles, blogs and videos… including a free download PDF entitled ‘The Greater Way and the New Paradigm Experience’. Hosted by Paul A Philips. One again the link is: http://www.newparadigm.ws/