By Paul A Philips
At the queue in a coffee shop the other day I saw a young child have a chocolate bar he had chosen get snatched from his mother who then put back on the shelf. Not able to have the chocolate bar the young boy sobbed bitterly… Typical of children his age he has the philosophy that goes in the way of ‘I want, therefore I must have and when I don’t get it I resent that…’ upset indeed kicks in.
Now compare this to adults. Most adults, when their wants, desires, expectations… in life are not fulfilled they too go into upset. Like the child this means living a life consistent with the Buddhist saying “The source of all suffering is desire…”
For some this upset is only a matter of time since many people have no plans of action; no structure for fulfilment in life as to how they will achieve their goals. Instead their lives are based on relying on the wheel of circumstance, or idle fantasies, romantic notions, expecting something for nothing… which is victimhood waiting to happen?
-All this is in effect the anatomy of upset and the reactions to life’s breakdowns with all those accompanying dramas that many people go into. The breakdowns and related dramas that people go into can be as such that they don’t realize they’re in one.
For example, let’s say, there’s the man that doesn’t make his sales target for the third month in a row. So, in a state of fear/anxiety, wondering if he’ll make the sales target next month and not be sacked as a consequence he stays ’till late at bars having gone into a heavy drinking drama…
Then there is the woman whose breakdowns are related to the fact that she’s unable to keep a steady long-term relationship. So she goes into a promiscuity drama…
Yes indeed, door slammers, cat kickers and cursers could be a number of examples of the many dramas that people go into when their wants, desires, expectations… in life are not fulfilled during a breakdown. The attention seeking ego has more than a hand in the reaction mechanisms…
The solution is quite simple, but it takes dedication to develop the approach and habits required to make the necessary turnaround for handling life’s breakdowns successfully, turning them into breakthrough’s.
The first thing is, instead of living a life that’s based on focussing on what you don’t have in life, how about celebrating or dwelling on the things you do. Focus on abundance. Thoughts, feelings, emotional attachments, imaginings of abundance can only breed and make manifest abundance! This is the law of attraction and it’s up to you to make it happen.
When people attach themselves to their wants, desires, expectations… they set themselves up to be upset: It goes in the way of ‘life should go the way I expect it to go, so when it doesn’t I resent that…’ Avoid this. Detachment from this attitude is the key. Catch yourself in the related mechanisms and observe yourself; I can’t stress how important this is for your personal effectiveness…
Instead of getting attached to your wants, desires, expectations.., take the attitude that life doesn’t go the way I expect it to go; it just goes the way that IT goes, then you no longer become the effect of your breakdowns (remember, the source of all suffering is desire).
Then, unlike the child, you grow up, no longer taking the ‘I want therefore I should have’ child’s attitude. Once again, I repeat, observe yourself!
Finally, there’s the usual hindsight from your breakdowns. Ask yourself, what did I learn from my breakdowns? What’s missing that’s needed to produce the necessary turnaround..? What’s missing in the commitment, communications and visions of the possibility of..?Above all, never give up.
-These are the basics for turning life’s breakdowns into breakthroughs. I do indeed hope this has helped.
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