Tag Archives: looking for love

The Anatomy of Successful Relationships and How They Work

By Paul A Philips

It doesn’t matter who you’re with. Whether the person is a lover, a relative, business partner, housemate or any other friend…. Nor does it matter if they’re tough or tender minded, different to you, having other interests or the similar… The ‘common denominators,’ the anatomy of successful relationships and how they work are always the same.

There is no special formula, but here are those crucial ‘common denominators.’

Communication

Effective communication is the ‘bricks and mortar’ that keeps together successful relationships. The more effectively expressed communication, the greater the love between individuals. Yes, love is a function of communication: People fall out with each other when communication runs dry.

The key to getting the relationship going again is to find out what it is you are or the other person in the relationship is withholding. I can’t stress this single factor enough. For example, unexpressed resentment is a killer in relationships. When the ‘withhold’ is finally out in the open and dealt with, indeed the communication and the love starts to kick in again.

Acceptance

A friend loves at ALL times (Proverbs 17:17)

Above all, and like I’ve already said, a successful relationship is NOT about how great your compatibility is with that other person. I’ve seen people fall out, dislike, reject or drift away from one another because of their unwillingness to let go and accept each other for the way they are or depending on the circumstance the way they are not. One of my most golden statements is: to love someone is to accept them for either the way they are or the way they are not.

Responsibility

On the subject of golden statements, another one of these is the saying ‘I am responsible.’ You’re totally responsible for making your relationships successful. -This is the key.

Trust

There are 2 types of trust. One is the logical and rational whereby you trust that person because they have proven to you over time that they can be trusted… Then there is another type of trust: Sooner or later you will have to place your trust in someone in a particular situation without having anything to go on whether they can be trusted or not. This takes courage but if everything turns out fine between you and that other person then this can be a significant notch on the belt for a great relationship.

Support during difficult times

As the saying goes, you know that you’ve got a good friend when difficult times are experienced and they are supportive. Then there’s also the ability to resolve conflicts between each other. Indeed forgiveness plays a major part. Recently, I resolved something with someone who had no idea that I had already forgiven her a long time ago. If she had known this then through her willingness we would have been friends again years ago. The punch line to this is: Who’s suffering when you don’t forgive someone?

Appreciation

It doesn’t matter what the form of appreciation is: a card, a bunch of flowers, or something verbal… appreciation definitely goes a long way to maintaining successful relationships.

Mutual respect

Showing respect validates and esteems. We all want to be loved, respected, valued and esteemed, right?

“Each friend represents a world in us; a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only in meeting them that a new world is born.” Anais Nin

Finally

I realize that this article; the anatomy of successful relationships and how they work, is not an exhaustive account but I wanted to share with you what has worked so effectively for me over the years I have been applying the related principles or as I call them ‘common denominators.’

If you liked reading this article then go to www.NewParadigm.ws for more related articles including a free download PDF. NewParadigm is a portal to transformation, consciousness, spirituality, mind, body, health, alternative media and much more… Hosted by Paul A Philips. Once again the link is: http://www.newparadigm.ws/

What Is Love?

By Paul A Philips

One of the most googled questions ever is “What is love?” So, in view of its popularity alone I felt compelled to look into this. I hope that those reading my response will get some insights. An insight is something you get which allows you to achieve something that could not have been achieved had it not been for that insight.

So, here’s my answer to that very pertinent question ‘what is love?’ Here are the insights: What I have gained from learning about love.

Love is…

1 Having a deep and genuine love for yourself. How do you expect the cycle of love to come back on you when you haven’t began with a real deep and genuine love, compassion and acceptance for yourself?

2 An innate love or natural urge towards partnership; caring for one’s spouse, family and children…

3 An innate love towards groups; being in teams and teamwork.

4 An innate love of the human race. A natural want to care for cultures, communities, preserve populations… etc.

5 An innate love and natural instinctive urge to want to care for the life on this planet.

6 An innate love for Mother Earth; the environment…

7 Having an innate love for all things spiritual.

8 An innate love for God, Goddess, All-There-Is. (I have written it in this form to avoid a narrow interpretation). Notice if you turn 8 at right angles it becomes: ∞ which is infinity!

Love means accepting a loved one for the way they are or the way they are not. -For me, this is the single most effective insight I have ever gained and learned about love.

For further insight it is also very effective to know what love is not

Love is NOT:

Thinking the person you love is like the car you have, or the clothes you’re wearing. That is, love is not possession.

Love is not belongingness, feelings, emotions, chemistry or domination… All these things can only be the effects of love. Tie these things in with the false understanding they are love then this could lead to confusion or victimhood drama. Learn to discern what love actually is when these things show up in your life.

So, above all, I would say, do realize that love is something that we do not understand.

I indeed hope that this all to brief little tour through love has allowed you the reader to get some useful insights.

If you liked reading this article then go to www.NewParadigm.ws for more related articles including a free download PDF. NewParadigm is a portal to transformation, consciousness, spirituality, mind, body, health, alternative media and much more… Hosted by Paul A Philips. Once again the link is: http://www.newparadigm.ws/