How To Take Control Of Your Emotions

By Joe Searle

Do Emotions Control Your Life?

To a certain degree, yes I do think that emotions can control your life and for many people, they are also running their lives. Emotions are pre-determined and they make us human. Some people think that you can merely ignore your emotions or even worse, try eliminate all emotion from their life!

The problem with this belief is that no matter what you try to do, no matter how hard you try to supress the way you feel, your emotions will always win. They are banging on the door of your mind. The more you try to ignore it, the louder and louder they bang and the harder and harder they pound. This is where some people will inevitably bottle up these emotions until they explode and depending on their personality type, each person will respond in a different way, none of which are particularly pretty to witness. Some time ago, there was a lady who knew her husband was cheating on her, she knew and remained silent for the good of her kids, but also because she was so scared to lose him. The longer and longer this went on, the more and more it became apparent that the cycle of endless cheating would not end. More than a year down the line, she could not take being hurt any longer and just up and left.

Now why did this happen? Simple, she bottled up all the emotions that she had, which she subsequently decided to ignore. Emotions are not something that should be considered as a weakness or a negative thing, they are there to serve as a warning that one or more of your beliefs and life rules have been violated. This woman never pulled her husband up on the belief that he was cheating. If she had, she may well have found that actually, the husband was not cheating on her at all, he was working another job just to feed their family.

Now there was clearly a big issue with communication, as a matter of fact there was no communication and this was a big part of the problem. However this is not something that I will cover in this article. The point here is that emotions can not only be warning signs, they can be felt by people as a result of someone’s perception of a particular situation, even if the situation is being perceived completely wrong. This lady took her husband’s absence as a violation of her own rules, perceiving it to be that he didn’t care about her or want to be with her, she then created a story in her mind as to why he wasn’t spending time with her and showing her that he still cared, when really he was just incredibly burnt out.

Now, emotions serve as a very useful tool for anyone trying to improve the quality of their own life, their business, and their relationships, so let’s take a brief look at the 10 emotions I Belief to be directly responsible for the quality of one’s life.

The 10 Emotions

Discomfort – this is not an extreme emotion but will leave you feeling uneasy feeling as if something is not quite “right”

Fear – this is possibly one of the most useful as it is a clear warning sign for us. Scared, frightened, are words that could be used to described this emotion

Hurt – this could be when someone violates one of your rules that you live life by, this can also be linked to a feeling of loss, which could be tangible or intangible, depending on the situation that can caused this emotion

Anger – being enraged, livid and aggressive, this emotion can be the most externally shown emotion and can take many people by surprise through the actions of the person experiencing it

Frustration – this is an emotion that entrepreneurs and business people often experience and can stop even the most dedicated people in their tracks. This can be altered to serve you in your endeavours as with the other emotions which I will explain shortly.

Disappointment – a feeling of not quite making it, not performing at best or being let down are often used to describe this emotion.

Guilt – This is an emotion that you must act on quickly if you can to stop it from growing root. Sometimes this may not be possible because it has been left too long already, but this can potentially be another devastating emotion if people do not control it.

Inadequacy – the feeling of not being as good as the next person, not as smart, not as strong, not an equal.

Being overwhelmed/Depressed – sometimes people go into a state whereby they describe themselves as being depressed and overloaded in their life, it can also be a pre cursor to the next emotion

Loneliness – The last emotion is that of being lonely, you may feel like the walls are closing in, nobody is there to help you or talk to you. A feeling of being completely on your own can be horrible, especially as we humans are very social creatures and as such, we need connection and love from time to time

How to Utilize Your Emotions

So now you understand the 10 emotions, how do you go about changing them to help you create a better standard of life and increase your own happiness? There are two ways in which you can do this, changing either your perception of your emotion, or changing the situation you are in. For example if you are running your own business and all of a sudden the demand for your products takes a nosedive. You may well have emotions of fear, discomfort, anger, frustration, you could be feeling a number of different emotions depending on your past references and experiences and your own personality type.

So you have these feelings, but remember, they are there to serve you, they are telling you that you need to change the way you are looking at it and perceiving it, or you need to change the situation that you are in. In this case you could first change the perception of the situation and instead of looking at the sudden lack of demand as a bad thing, you can turn it around and say that now you know that demand is shifting so you may need to consider altering the product, changing the product or even the way that it is marketed. This way you will turn it around and potentially make an even bigger profit than before. Notice that after changing your perception, you are then already ready to change the situation that you are in.This may not be the case for every situation, so you need to be mindful as to what you are feeling and what is causing the emotion, then act accordingly to make that shift and change the quality of your life for the better.

If you would like to create a business that lets you live life on your terms, earning more and working less, check out this video now.

Small Steps Take Us the Greatest Distance

By Jenny Flintoft

When babies learn to walk, we congratulate every tiny step, every courageous wobble. We cheer all those tiny pieces of progress they make… Isn’t it funny how we don’t give ourselves that same encouragement and support as adults? Just because we’re “officially” grown up (and I reserve the right to be a big kid whenever I want!), we set ourselves mammoth tasks to achieve and then get disheartened when progress is slow!

The more I work with people who show a desire in “getting better” (whether that’s to be better in dealing with a challenging situation, better at leading others, better at dealing with difficult people), the more I have seen that grand gestures very rarely make the difference that lasts. It is those small steps – in and amongst the wobbles but constantly focused on “getting better” – which lead to sustained, meaningful change.

Here’s the trouble with people like me(!) I run events, workshops and seminars where I’m delighted to say I enable people to feel motivated, fired up and ready for change. I have testimonials and videos and emails from people who have left feeling they’ve had a real awakening and are going off to rock their worlds! Yay! LOVE that!

But what can sometimes happen after people attend an event, or a teleseminar, or read a self help book is they have the rush…..and then the comedown. Within a couple of weeks they think to themselves – “I’m no further forward. Nothing’s changed. That course/book/expert isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. This stuff DOESN’T WORK.” (Ever experienced that? Be honest!)

Being positive and focused on this stuff for one day or one week won’t do it. Doing twenty push ups a day isn’t going to give you a washboard stomach overnight (more’s the pity – sheesh). You’ve got to keep doing it, putting the effort and energy in – and only then will you start to see a return and some big changes in your life that you didn’t even notice happening at the time.

This is where a bit of patience comes in. You all know the principle of sowing and reaping, I’m sure. You reap the harvest after you’ve done the work. You dig the soil, plant the seeds, water the seeds (effort), wait a while (patience) and then you reap your harvest. Effort + patience = results/reward.

In this day and age, this principle is lost on people. We’ve lost the art of patience. So people ask – “If I plant my seeds today and put the work in, what do I get tomorrow?” And of course the answer is – wet seeds! Instant results are so rarely seen – we need to put in the consistent small action steps in order to see our results.

You don’t eat a meal in one gulp, you eat it one mouthful at a time. It’s exactly the same with these actions.

Pick something small – it may even seem insignificant – that you can work on. Get it into your skin and into your psyche. Then choose something else and do the same. Keep chipping away over a period of time and you’ll be surprised at how all those little steps and actions add up.

With small, simple actions, NO effort is wasted.

Whenever you try any action at first, it can seem as if you’re putting in loads of effort for very little return. Keep persevering, because all those actions and small steps added together and layered on top of one another will bring you the progress and the difference you’ve been seeking in your chosen area. And that’s a promise!

And now I’d like to invite you to claim your FREE (Re)Ignite Your SPARK Power Pack, including Comprehensive Action Guide, Podcast and Illustrated Summary Sheet. Immediate download!

From Jenny Flintoft – The Expert in helping you live Your Life – But Better!