Tag Archives: success

Success What Is It? How Do I Become Successful?

By Paul A Philips

What does it mean to you to be successful? How do you define success? To answer these pertinent questions, let’s first look at what it means NOT to be successful or where success can be questioned as to whether or not it’s genuine. Basically there are 2 circumstances:

1. I have seen a number of people say that they’re going to be successful when they’ll feel happy or fulfilled or having expressed themselves in their ways… etc. Okay, but I have found that these things usually don’t lead to success. Making these things the criteria for success can be a trap. I’ll explain what this means later.

2. Then, for example, take the case of Marilyn Monroe. It has been said that she was one of the most successful actresses ever. However, in spite of this, she spent so much of her time peddling hope, help and victimhood… while her death was suspected to be suicide, which could challenge the definition of genuine success in terms of a successful life living like this…

Indeed, you hear of a number of individuals that are unhappy which goes against what they have on record: Big house, lots of cars and other fanciful possessions…

For example, rock guitar idol Eric Clapton said in so many words that when in the heydays with his band the Cream in the late 1960’s in spite of him getting huge amounts of money and attention he felt like he wanted to commit suicide on a daily basis.

-So what’s missing for these people in these 2 different circumstances?

What can be done so that you don’t end up getting caught in the same traps?

For circumstance number 1 the answer lies in making your targets for accomplishment as specific and measurable as possible. When I’ll feel happy or fulfilled or having expressed myself in ways… is too hazy and not defining.

Define what it is you intend to achieve stating it in the way of: I’ll achieve X by time Y with those specific and measureable results needed. Before setting out on this define for yourself what the conditions of satisfaction will be. Will this be nurturing and fulfilling for you? Does it call and inspire you..?

Basically, the same goes for circumstance number 2. Remember, if something’s missing in your life you have to see it for what it is then manage it. This may sound obvious to some but there are many people who go through their entire life never realizing or identifying success and what’s missing… what needs to be done. As I have been saying in previous articles ‘if you can’t see it then you won’t handle it…’

-It is hoped that this will inspire you enough to start chalking down what it is you intend to achieve on the drawing board for unlimited success!

If you liked reading this article then go to http://www.NewParadigm.ws for more related articles, blogs and videos… including a free download PDF entitled ‘The Greater Way and the New Paradigm Experience’. Hosted by Paul A Philips. One again the link is: http://www.newparadigm.ws/

6 Steps to Loving Your Life

How much do you really love your life?

This may be the very first time you have been asked this question, but you probably should really be asking yourself this almost every day. Our decisions and choices create the world we inhabit. It is possible, if you aren’t paying attention to where it’s all headed, that you may end up somewhere you never really intended to go. While there really are no quick fixes, there are a few steps you can take to begin your journey and get back on track to loving your life.

1. Prioritize

In order to love our life we should be spending a lot of our time and energy on aspects that are important to us. Yet often, we make decisions and say “yes” to incidentals that take away our time together with our energy.

For you to move forward, it may be well to begin by thinking about what the main 3 priorities in your life really are. If your answer is family, creativity, and adventure, for instance then it might be hard to love a life where you are doing little more than mundane, repetitive tasks, and missing out on important time with your family. Does your life, your career, your home, really do reflect you and those things you hold dear?

Take your diary in hand and be in charge of your schedule.

Bring what you love into what you do. If you love cooking and you work in an office, bring home-made snacks to work for your colleagues to enjoy. For those who are lacking family time, see if you can free up a little more non-negotiable time to spend with your children and partner every week. Start with little beginnings. Invest an extra hour every now and then on what’s important to you. Make your time suit your needs.

2. Manage Expectations

So often people drown in misery because their lives are not regularly meeting their expectations. It could be that your partner isn’t the absolute soul mate you always fantasized about. Perhaps your job isn’t the career that you thought it would be when you were studying. It could be that you are living day to day at an age when you thought you would be financially more comfortable.

There is no need to scale back your expectations of a happy, full life. But in these situations it can be helpful to sit down and work out whether unhappiness is the result of a situation that isn’t working for you, or if you are comparing your life with an illusion. Accepting people, jobs and life for what they are at this moment can be a healing experience for many. Your partner, husband or wife may not be the perfect soul mate you dreamed about – but comparing them to someone who doesn’t exist will only make you both unhappy.

3. Count What’s There – Not What’s Missing

Remind yourself about all those things that are good in your life. What does your partner do better than anyone else? What does your job provide you that you’ve stayed on all this time? What made you choose this job in the first place? Most of the wonders of life are not the plans that come to fruition, but the surprises along the route.

4. Take Time Out

Even if your life is fantastic, each of us needs a break from time to time. You may have a career you love or have a great family, but too much of a good thing can be bad for you. Fatigue can set in, you begin to feel depleted, resentful, and wonder about changing your circumstances. Maybe nothing is wrong with your situation – you just need to stand back and take a breather.

Research shows that people attain much more benefit before their holiday than during or after the holiday. This has led researchers to suggest that anticipation of a holiday is as important as the holiday itself. Plan and schedule regular holidays, break up your annual leave to several shorter holidays scattered throughout the year, and get regular mini-breaks in the form of a night out with friends, weekend camping trips to get a change of scenery, and taking time to just be by yourself and do practically nothing.

Spending time alone is beneficial for mental and emotional health. Take more control over your daily schedule and plan for regular alone time. Take yourself on a date to a restaurant, read a book, go for a run, or embark on an adventure.

5. Find Your Passion

Experiencing passion is an important portion of living a full and meaningful life. Inject passion into each single day, even weekdays as you work and don’t feel particularly passionate. If you search hard enough, you can always find some aspect to be passionate about.

When passion is lacking, it might be re-ignited by your favorite meal, taking a course, or a night out with friends. Passion can flow from anywhere – it may be reading, creativity, helping others, partiipating in sports, your friends, or visiting neighbouring countries. Passion can come from something really modest, such as eating strawberries. There is no right or wrong. Notice things that evoke true excitement from deep inside you, and also notice what kind of person inspires you.

What famous or notable person do you most wish you could be? This might be the first step in realizing how to live the life you love. If you genuinely aren’t sure what your passions are, start with a clean slate and learn something new.

Take a course in something you’re curious about; visit a new town; experiment with exotic foods; start meeting new people, or check online and start following blogs on specific subjects that draw your attention. Many of the world’s finest chefs, writers, artists, designers, architects, athletes, innovators and entrepeneurs blog regularly about their thoughts, ideas and advice.

6. Learn to Love Yourself

Discovering a life you love is only possible if you can love yourself. This does not mean arrogance or denying that you have faults. Loving yourself focuses on being your own best friend, a person who embraces you on both good days, and bad days when things don’t go to plan.

Acknowledge and accept your flaws and shortcomings, but resolve to look after yourself well. You have the right to be loved and treated well, by yourself and by others. You merit a good life that makes you happy. Not because you are perfect, but because you are flawed and human, and even though you may find it difficult at times, nonetheless you still deserve to be treated with kindness and compassion.

This isn’t always straightforward. We don’t always learn to be good to ourselves while growing up. It is a skill that grows with practice, and will keep on growing stronger provided we work at it. And the more love we give to ourself, the less we will have to run around fixing problems or struggling to find solutions. Loving your life can become a habit.

Above all, foster an ‘attitude of gratitude’ for the gift that is your life, and for anything there is in it. It may not be ideal, but it’s yours — and now is the time to live it.

Peter Field is one of the leading British hypnotherapists and a Member of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy. Click for information on his hypnotherapy Birmingham and London practices. He is the author of the best selling hypnotherapy book ‘The Chi of Change’.

Being Connected Does Not Mean You Connect

Copyright © 2014 Bill Gager

It was one of those hard sunny days that you only get in late summer in New England. The sun cut across the water like a laser through a steel door. I didn’t want to be here. I had a million other things I’d rather do and a million other places I’d rather be.

I was taking my father in law and brother in law for a cruise on the Connecticut River. We were leaving the marina in my Sea Ray. I’d done this a million times. Guiding the boat through the narrow gap between finger piers; catching the tide and wind just right to slip into the freedom of the open river was second nature… that is, on every day but today.

No matter what I did, the wind and current managed to pin my back up against the bulkhead. After my fifth attempt, my tactful brother in law slipped in: “I could of gotten us out of here on the first try.” My blood came to full boil. Inside my head I screamed, “Why can’t I do this!”

Operating the Sea Ray constantly reminded me of the need for Presence. There’s an old saying, “Flying by the seat of your pants.” This is how I learned to navigate the notoriously twitchy boat. Given the slightest shift in wind and current, the Sea Ray would have a mind of its own– and not one of the brightest at that. I learned early on that to put the boat where I wanted it to go, I had to feel the boat through the seat of my pants. That day, the seat of my pants and I weren’t even in the same zip code.

Instead of being present with the boat, I was all up in my head thinking about the million other things and places. With my mind all wrapped up in the world inside my head, I was not connected to the real world. If I’ve learned one thing along the way, it is this: With presence, anything is possible; without it, everything comes down to a crapshoot at best.

One of the most common comments made about famous leaders who are known to be charismatic is: “You feel like he/she is completely with you when you meet.” Putting all of our attention on the people in front of us is presence. In today’s world of “multi-tasking” presence is a lost art. Unfortunately, more than art is lost when we lose presence. I once heard someone say: “It’s not multitasking; it’s doing more than one thing badly.” Communicating is one thing we can’t afford to do “badly.”

Our success in this world comes down to our relationships with the people upon whom the quality of our life depends: family, friends, team members, bosses, prospects, and customers. To realize the true potential of these relationships, we need to be able to connect. It is impossible to connect with another if you are not connected with yourself.

All you have to do is look around you. Everywhere you go: home, work, or a shopping mall. Everyone is focused somewhere other than on where and with whom they are. How many times have you seen people sitting across a table from one another texting on their smart phones? Being connected is not the same as being present.

Over the last 20 years, I’ve noticed a dramatic change in how people interact in the work place. Rarely does a conversation or meeting go by without the participants being on their smart phone, tablet, or computer. I can’t tell you the number of conversations I’ve had with people that took place while they were answering countless texts and emails. What gets lost as a result? — Presence.

Presence enables us to tune into the subtle signals that are always around us. If we follow these signals they will help us to find the best way through a situation. In my example of the cruise with my in-laws, the reason I had trouble steering the boat was… I was not tuned into the small signals that would tell me how the wind and current were affecting the direction of my boat. I find that being in tune with these subtle signals gives me advanced notice of the larger changes to come that can knock me off course. The same is true in any interaction with other people. Being present in the situation allows us to tune into the subtle signals given off by the other person(s). These signals, when followed, provide us with the best course to follow to make the connection necessary to influence others.

Many years ago, I was asked to be the speaker at an awards banquet for top producing financial advisors. The organizer of the dinner asked me to give a talk on a specific subject. Right from the beginning, I could feel a subtle energy coming from the audience. The subject of the talk was not connecting with this audience. Fortunately, unlike on the boat, the seat of my pants and I were in the same room; I sensed I had to change course, or I’d lose this audience into the bulkhead.

I stopped my talk. I asked the dinner organizer to turn up the lights. I said to the audience: “I can go on with this talk or we can turn this into an open forum of question and answer. What do you want to do?” I immediately received an almost simultaneous, “Questions and answers,” from 200 hundred voices. A night that was on track to be a real stinker ended up being a great success.

Prior to this night, I would get completely caught up in my presentations with no presence with the audience. In those days I missed the subtle cues that can make the difference between success and failure.

I have many opportunities to observe my clients in interactions with other people. I often see how the client’s lack of presence with the person(s) with whom he/she is talking leads to missing the very signals that would insure the connection necessary to influence a change in that person’s thoughts, beliefs, and actions. The following are steps you can take to enhance your Presence:

Presence is a decision

The first step in insuring you’re present when you need to be is to commit yourself to the idea of being present. Recently I was working with a senior leader. In a meeting she told me: “I know it seems like I’m not listening; I am. I have to get these emails done.” She knew she wasn’t present yet she believed it was OK. If you wish to connect with people, it is vital that you commit to the idea of being present.

Practice makes presence

Lack of presence is a habit. All habits are built from repetition. If you wish to build the habit of being present, practice every chance you get. After making the decision to be present, take the opportunity to bring yourself back into presence whenever you can. One of the ways I did this was turning off the radio in the car. Instead of listening to the radio I would take the time to be present with the driving experience. There are countless opportunities throughout the day to practice presence. One of the best is to put away your laptop, phone, or tablet whenever someone approaches you for a conversation.

Presence takes awareness

Presence requires making a change. One of the ways our brain resists changing a habit is to ignore any information that supports making that change. As a result, we may often be unaware of our lack of presence. I find the best way to deal with this is to enlist help. I ask people whom I trust to let me know anytime they feel I am not being present. I find this is one piece of feedback others love to give me!

To influence change in someone, we must connect. To connect with another, we must first be connected with ourselves; this connection requires Presence.

Bill Gager is a consultant, coach, and speaker who helps organizations and individuals to communicate to influence the thoughts, beliefs, and actions of others. http://gager360.com

Achieving Your Full Potential In Self Improvement

One day, you will realize that change is essential to achieving your dreams, and then you will come to truly accept change, and find information that will assist you attain your full potential in personal development. Until that time, something can be right in front of you and you may not even know it is there.

For example, when you view an artwork, you may not be able to fully appreciate what you are seeing when it is only one or two inches from your face. However, if you step back a little bit from it, you will get a clearer view of the entire painting.

The majority of individuals only think of looking for guidance for personal growth and self help when things have deteriorated. For instance, consider this scenario:

Try putting your finger into a large bowl that contains very hot water. If you are able to do that, you take your finger out very quickly. This is because you cannot stand sudden change within your environment, in this case the high temperature of the water.

Now try putting your finger into a pot that contains lukewarm water and then switch the gas cooker on. Leave your finger in the water until the temperature of the water has risen to a certain level. Then you will start to feel the warmth of the water and eventually you will remove your finger.

Most people act more like scenario two above. It is only when people experience actual pain that they learn their lessons. Today, Mary has reason to believe that Peter does not like her. The following day, Mike blatantly tells her that he does not like her. Mary is not bothered about what her friends are saying about her and does nothing to find out what has gone wrong. Soon she finds out that Janet and Henry have ill feelings towards her also. Mary does not appreciate the need and importance of self improvement until all of her friends have turned against her.

It is only when things have gotten completely out of control that people begin to see the warning signals and signs. Most people realize that they have to do something about their weight only when their tops and pants do not fit then anymore. Similarly, people do not stop eating or decrease the quantity of sweets they eat, until their teeth starts to fall out and they have to visit the dentist more often. Most smokers do not quit smoking until their lungs have been severely damaged. Also, people tend to seek God’s assistance, only when trouble strikes. When things are going fine, most people put God aside.

The majority of individuals tend to think about self improvement and personal development only when things have gone seriously wrong. Such situations are not easy to change, however those who continue to resist change, will end up in more pathetic situations.

Change will occur, irrespective of your feelings. At some point in your life, you will experience various turning points. And you will ultimately release your full potential for personal and professional success. No one will force or nag you to do this, but you will come to realize that it will make you a better person.

Happy individuals embrace change; they do not simply accept it. You need to realize that self improvement is important, no one should force you to accept it. When you realize your potential, you will stop having the limiting belief that “that is just my nature.” This sort of thinking only encourages resistance to change and it breeds fear.

Most people have very strong limiting beliefs. For example, Ben repeatedly informs all his friends and members of his family that he has a fear of groups of people. He hears his mother, his teacher; his father and his brother tell other people the same thing regarding him. Ben will come to believe that as the years roll by. He accepts it is actually his story.

And because of this, each time there is a large gathering in his community, at his home and in school, he shys away and goes into his room to hide. Ben is an excellent example of one who believes and lives his story.

Even though not everyone will be interested in personal growth and development, if you view things from a different perspective, you might even begin to enjoy the entire process rather than waiting for a time when you will be completely improved.

Going out with your friends after a long and hard day of work is an excellent way to unwind, visiting the gym three times a week will make you healthier. And as you start to achieve your full potential in personal and professional development, you will find that you are becoming happier and taking things easier.

Ways To Achieve Success

Everyone wants to achieve success, but sometimes it does not come so easily. Read this article to learn how to be more successful in everything you do. Success can be elusive. People can often see it, feel it yet just when they think they are about to achieve it, it passes them by.

Disappointment can cause people to lose perspective. They wonder what they might have done wrong. Most people strongly believe that they can achieve what they set out to accomplish, however your vision cannot become a reality by merely dreaming.

You might have followed all the success rules, read countless books about how to be successful and have visualized yourself as a highly successful individual. It is good to have a clear vision of your ultimate purpose. Even the Holy book says that people perish without a vision. However, you must realize that visualization of your goals and desires is simply not enough.

Visualize Your Goals

What do you dream to accomplish one day? What are your aspirations for the future? Do you have written goals and comprehensive steps on how to attain each goal? If you could achieve anything in life that you wanted and go wherever you wished to go, what would that be and where would you go? Now take some time and write down your answers to these questions. Be sure to be specific with your answers as that would help you visualize these things as real.

This exercise is very important so do not cheat. Get a piece of paper or a notebook and write down your answers. You can regard this as your fantasy book to success.

Next, ask yourself: What do I have to do so as to live life the way I want to?

What actions do I need to take so as to accomplish my goals and objectives?

As you ask yourself these questions, focus on goals you can accomplish in the near future, rather than focusing only on distant goals. However do not expect to achieve instant success. There is no magical formula that can make you successful overnight.

There is no simple road to success. You achieve success through goal setting, good motivation and inspiration, hard work and diligently carrying out your plans. You must also believe that you can accomplish your dreams.

The great American Industrialist Henry Ford stated, “If you believe you can, then you really will, and if you believe you cannot, you cannot”.

If you truly believe that you can accomplish your life goals, now is the time for you to plan how you will make your success dreams a reality. Do not let the fear of failure to be the barrier that prevents you from achieving success. With faith, you can achieve anything. But sometimes, you may have to take little steps at a time.

However, this requires a lot of planning. You cannot get what you want by wishing for it. Even if you have a clear vision of what you want to achieve, you must have a good plan in order to succeed.

Goal Setting

Goal setting is extremely important. You may not like the idea of setting goals, however, to achieve success, you have to write down your goals and set dates in which you would like to accomplish each of them.

Do you visualize yourself as a leader? Well, if you want to lead your own company, dreaming about it will not make it happen. It is important that you write your goals down so they become real.

To own my own company in the future, I must do what? This is a good way to start. Now picture yourself leading your own firm someday. How do feel about that?

This is what you want to achieve, your vision, your dream. Now ask yourself, to accomplish my goal, what actions do I need to take today. To own your own business, you will need to write a business plan, acquire business knowledge, obtain financing, decide where your business will be located, register your business name etc. Break down your goals into daily goals, weekly goals and monthly goals. This tactic enables you to accomplish your goal with ease.

You can certainly achieve all that you desire. All you have to do is break down your objectives into manageable chunks and start taking care of things, one day at a time.

Take A Life-Long Journey To A Better You

When you daydream, do you dream about improving your life? Following is some advice that can get you on the way to self help.

If you avoid making decisions, then you are denying yourself opportunities. Choose not to live in fear of your decisions even if you do not have all of the information you desire. Great decisions encourage sharp instincts. Bad decisions have value though because they are experiences that teach lessons. If you make a wrong choice at one point, then you will ensure that your next one will be better.

To get the biggest benefits from personal development, make sure to physically take care of your body. Make sure you are getting enough sleep, eating a healthy diet, and exercising on a regular schedule so that you have enough energy during the day, and you will find it will be a little easier to reach success. This sounds like obvious advice, but it’s sometimes hard to put into practice.

A self improvement software is another tool that you can include in your personal development toolbox if you prefer to use softwares.

Discover what is standing between you and your goals. Figuring this out is daunting for most people. However, being able to identify our weaknesses is the first step to addressing them and ultimately changing them. Take care to eliminate the obstacles that stand between you and the future that you wish to have.

If you care for your body, you will get the most out of your personal development. Always keep a healthy routine that includes exercise, diet, and sleep in order to be successful. While it may sound simple, this is sometimes one of the most difficult things to do.

Many people are unaware that diet can affect feelings of depression, as an increase in consumption of complex carbohydrates can help. Without adequate complex carbohydrates, your body may burn too quickly through serotonin. Eat more vegetables and fruits, whole grains, nuts and beans.

You need to have an emergency fund. Most of us depend on credit cards to pay for unexpected expenses. Putting a few dollars a week into an emergency fund will add up over time. Having an emergency fund will prevent you from having to use credit cards to pay for unexpected expenses, which will save you a great deal in interest over the years.

If you have had several consecutive failings, take a moment to analyze what you’re doing wrong. Compare your goals with the goals of others that you can research online. You also might find that your goals are indeed not realistic, or that some other critical resource is needed before your goal can be realized.

Therapy is indicated if you feel you cannot deal with your problems. Though self-help books and online resources are great, they typically will not offer as much as a one-on-one therapy session can. There are many times when talking with another person about a stressful situation is the most effective route to relaxation. A self-help book simply cannot provide the human interaction afforded by a therapist or counselor.

Make the important aspects of your life the focus of how you live. If you focus all of your thoughts on the things that really matter and quit dwelling on the negative things that do not matter at all, you are sure to find a greater inner peace.

Don’t use shopping as a comfort technique. Rather than spending time increasing your bills, you should aim to take up a hobby instead. By doing this, you’ll discover that your bills won’t be so high, which will decrease your stress levels and the clutter in your home.

Don’t waste your energy on the small things. If you focus all of your thoughts on the things that really matter and quit dwelling on the negative things that do not matter at all, you are sure to find a greater inner peace.

On the road to personal development, treat your body with respect. Get regular exercise and eat a healthy diet. If you feel sick, see your doctor to find out what the problem is so it can be corrected. Listen to what your body has to say. If you listen to your body, you will be in better shape. By shying away from problems, your body will likely do the same in the future.

You may experience excess stress when you overreact to difficult situations. Learn how to deal with your stress, and always analyze a situation carefully. It’s always possible to fix any mistake you have made, or manage a way to deal with it. Don’t focus on the things you have lost. Instead, focus on the things you have and are looking to attain.

On the road to personal development, treat your body with respect. When your body tells you that it needs something, such as food, drink, or medical care, then it should be a priority to give it what it is asking for. If you do this, your body will better serve you for the future. If you choose to ignore your body’s needs, there’s a good chance that it will ignore your wants.

Research positive habits that have helped others become successful. Pick out the most essential success habits from each person you research, then practice these habits until they embed themselves into your daily routine. You need to give yourself a bit of time to make your new habit a permanent one. So don’t give up on it until you have continuously used it for at least 21 days.

Living a healthy lifestyle is a critical part of your personal development. A healthy lifestyle includes working out and watching what kind of food you eat, and you must be able to acquire the characteristic of being able to remain motivated to do it. Put health at the pinnacle of your personal development plan to feel your best and to be more successful with all of your other life goals.

As you work with the tips, be sure to journal your thoughts and feelings and take particular note of any changes in your point of view. Give yourself a break.